BookmarkBookmarkTickBookmarkAddCheckBoxFilledCheckBoxCircleBumpCheckedFilledMedical

The Parenting Hack Going Viral: Mastering the 'When/Then' Reframe

Discover the game-changing language shift that's transforming parent-child communication.
save article
profile picture of Wyndi Kappes
By Wyndi Kappes, Associate Editor
Published November 9, 2023
mom talking to son
Image: Ground Picture | Shutterstock

In the fast-paced world of parenting tips and tricks, positive parenting influencer Krystal Slavin, known as @mama_nurturer on Instagram, has struck gold with a simple yet powerful technique that’s taking the parenting community by storm.

The secret weapon? The “When/Then” reframe—a subtle linguistic adjustment that can make a world of difference in how your kids respond to your requests.

In a recent viral video, Slavin shared her insights on the impact of language on children’s behavior. The core idea is straightforward: replace negative demands with positive expectations using the “When/Then” formula. This small tweak can turn potential power struggles into cooperative moments.

Slavin illustrates the concept with practical examples that resonate with everyday parenting scenarios:

  1. Instead of saying, “You have to put your shoes on before you go outside,” try “WHEN your shoes are on, THEN we can go outside.”
  2. Rather than insisting, “We can’t go to the park until you clean up your mess,” say “WHEN all the toys are put away, THEN we can go to the park.”
  3. Swap out, “No TV until you eat breakfast,” for “WHEN you’ve finished your breakfast, THEN you can watch TV.”
  4. Transform, “You can’t ride your bike without your helmet,” into “WHEN your helmet is on, THEN you can ride your bike.”

The brilliance of the “When/Then” reframe lies in its ability to provide children with a sense of control. By framing requests in a positive light, parents empower their kids to see tasks as opportunities rather than obligations. This shift can reduce resistance and foster a more cooperative attitude.

While parenting is far from a one-size-fits-all endeavor, and no technique guarantees 100% success, for parents facing resistance or seeking a smoother communication style with their children, the “When/Then” reframe may just be the game-changing hack they’ve been searching for. It’s a simple adjustment that holds the potential to make parenting a more positive and collaborative experience for both parents and children alike.

save article
Article removed.
Name added. View Your List
ADVERTISEMENT

Next on Your Reading List

child's 5th birthday party with friends
Amid Birthday Party Fatigue One Mom Shares Her Three-Party Policy
By Wyndi Kappes
Taylor Swift and Blake Lively react prior to Super Bowl LVIII between the San Francisco 49ers and Kansas City Chiefs at Allegiant Stadium on February 11, 2024 in Las Vegas, Nevada
Blake Lively Says Super Bowl Was Her First Time Out Without Her Kids
By Wyndi Kappes
Tyler Perry on The Kelly Clarkson Show - Season 5 February 2024
Tyler Perry Shares His Secret to Being a Great Father to His Son
By Wyndi Kappes
ADVERTISEMENT
baby feet wrapped in pink blanket with heart
NICU Nurses Capture Baby’s First Valentine’s Day
By Wyndi Kappes
Chris Pratt and Katherine Schwarzenegger attend Cleobella x Katherine Schwarzenegger event at The Coast Lounge at Palisades Villages on November 04, 2023 in Pacific Palisades, California
Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt Reveals How She Combats Mom Burnout
By Wyndi Kappes
donna kelce and family
Baby Doesn’t Get a Free Pass for Super Bowl, Donna Kelce Explains
By Wyndi Kappes
dad talking to young daughter
Viral Post Praises the Magic of "Role Play" Parenting
By Wyndi Kappes
ADVERTISEMENT
mother holding newborn baby
Viral Video Speaks to the Power of a Postpartum Village
By Wyndi Kappes
30 First Birthday Gift Ideas Worth Celebrating
30 First Birthday Gift Ideas Worth Celebrating
By Martina Garvey
pregnant mom with child and husband
Viral Post Addresses Drop in Second Pregnancy Support and Celebration
By Wyndi Kappes
ADVERTISEMENT
grandpa holding grandson
The Internet Debates How Often Grandparents Need to See Baby to Bond
By Wyndi Kappes
mom and baby celebrating birthday
Study Explores Why Mom Is Likely to Share a Birthday Month With Baby
By Wyndi Kappes
mother holding newborn baby during christmas time at home
Viral TikTok Helps New Moms Set Boundaries This Holiday Season
By Wyndi Kappes
ADVERTISEMENT
mother playing with toddler daughters at home
This Year's Top Trending Parenting Styles, According to Google Search
By Wyndi Kappes
bluey season 3 on disney+
Bluey Goes on a Break: Final 10 Episodes of Season 3 Arrive Next Month
By Wyndi Kappes
Andy Cohen attends The Real Housewives of New York Premiere Celebration at The Rainbow Room on July 12, 2023 in New York City.
Andy Cohen Shares Why Toddlers Are Harder to Deal With Than Housewives
By Wyndi Kappes
mother reading with baby on rocking chair in nursery room
Inchstones Is the Biggest Parenting Trend for 2024, Pinterest Says
By Wyndi Kappes
ADVERTISEMENT
black mother holding baby at home
How Black Parents Can Avoid the Trap of Toxic Positivity
Medically Reviewed by Kendra Segura, MD
kwanzaa-gift-guide-HERO
21 Special Kwanzaa Gifts for All of Your Loved Ones
By Ayn-Monique Klahre
jennifer garner and her children next to a headshot of jennifer garner on the red carpet
Jennifer Garner on Why “a Little Benign Neglect” Is the Key Parenting
By Wyndi Kappes
ADVERTISEMENT
Article removed.