The Parenting Hack Going Viral: Mastering the 'When/Then' Reframe

In the fast-paced world of parenting tips and tricks, positive parenting influencer Krystal Slavin, known as @mama_nurturer on Instagram, has struck gold with a simple yet powerful technique that’s taking the parenting community by storm.

The secret weapon? The “When/Then” reframe—a subtle linguistic adjustment that can make a world of difference in how your kids respond to your requests.

In a recent viral video, Slavin shared her insights on the impact of language on children’s behavior. The core idea is straightforward: replace negative demands with positive expectations using the “When/Then” formula. This small tweak can turn potential power struggles into cooperative moments.

Slavin illustrates the concept with practical examples that resonate with everyday parenting scenarios:

1. Instead of saying, “You have to put your shoes on before you go outside,” try “WHEN your shoes are on, THEN we can go outside.”
2. Rather than insisting, “We can’t go to the park until you clean up your mess,” say “WHEN all the toys are put away, THEN we can go to the park.”
3. Swap out, “No TV until you eat breakfast,” for “WHEN you’ve finished your breakfast, THEN you can watch TV.”
4. Transform, “You can’t ride your bike without your helmet,” into “WHEN your helmet is on, THEN you can ride your bike.”

The brilliance of the “When/Then” reframe lies in its ability to provide children with a sense of control. By framing requests in a positive light, parents empower their kids to see tasks as opportunities rather than obligations. This shift can reduce resistance and foster a more cooperative attitude.

While parenting is far from a one-size-fits-all endeavor, and no technique guarantees 100% success, for parents facing resistance or seeking a smoother communication style with their children, the “When/Then” reframe may just be the game-changing hack they’ve been searching for. It’s a simple adjustment that holds the potential to make parenting a more positive and collaborative experience for both parents and children alike.