9 Inchstones Worth Celebrating in Baby’s First Year

Okay, I admit it: I don’t remember the exact moment my daughter first said “mama.” To be honest, her first steps are a little fuzzy too. (Did that lunge from the couch to the coffee table count? Or was it the three consecutive steps—left, right, left—that she took a week later that made it official?

Blame sleep deprivation or mommy brain, but the truth is that the major baby milestones unfold incrementally. Even her baby steps came in baby steps.

Those tiny, intermediate accomplishments that lead up to the big ones are what many parents and child development experts call “inchstones.” And by connecting the dots between the larger milestones, they give you even more to look forward to throughout baby’s first year.

“They feel like surprise wins,” says Caroline S., a first-time mom in Kailua, Hawaii. “Like the first time my son figured out how to put a ball in the circular hole of his toy box. It felt like a moment that needed to be celebrated! Most parents are waiting for their child to do something big, like roll over or walk. But mini milestones are fun reminders that your child is actively learning each day.”

Key Takeaways

• Inchstones are the building blocks of milestones. Inchstones are the small, incremental skills that help baby eventually achieve a major milestone.
• Watching for inchstones can reduce “milestone anxiety.” Unlike milestones, which come with age ranges and checklists, inchstones are unofficial. By focusing on these smaller breakthroughs, parents can reframe development as a steady, unfolding story.
• Inchstones signal social-emotional growth. Many key inchstones demonstrate emerging social-emotional skills and secure attachment. They demonstrate that baby trusts you, knows you and loves you.
• Inchstones can provide a heads up. While inchstones are flexible, recognizing a lack of inchstones can be a proactive tool for caregivers. It’s good to alert your pediatrician if baby is missing incremental skills.
• The concept on inchstones is rooted in special needs parenting. Inchstones are powerful because they help parents measure progress against their child’s individual timeline rather than comparing them to standardized age norms.
• Encourage inchstones with enthusiasm and feedback. The most important way to foster development of inchstones, as a parent, is by providing consistent and loving responsiveness.

What Are Inchstones?

If milestones are goals or expectations, inchstones are more like building blocks. “A milestone is a skill in one developmental domain that has a larger impact across many areas of development. For example, when babies say their first word, this language skill has a huge impact on social and emotional domains, because babies replace crying with speech,” says Harper Johnston, PhD, a child psychologist at Mt. Washington Pediatric Hospital in Baltimore, Maryland. “If you break each milestone down into smaller steps, you get ‘inchstones.’ This is a cute new name for the small skills that developmental psychologists have identified as prerequisites for babies to achieve their big milestone skills.”

Inchstones vs. milestones

Unlike milestones—which come with expectations, age ranges and checkboxes—inchstones are softer around the edges. They might show up as a new spark of recognition on baby’s face, a tender moment of connection or a tiny flash of independence. Celebrating these pint-sized breakthroughs can help dial down “milestone anxiety” by reframing development not as a race toward specific achievements, but as a steady, unfolding story. Instead of waiting for the big reveal, you get to enjoy all the little plot twists along the way.

Baby’s First Year: Inchstones by Age

Many small achievements during your little one’s first 12 months lay the groundwork for their understanding of self and others. Here are a few to look forward to and what they mean for baby’s development.

Newborn to 6 month inchstones: Connection and trust

Inchstone: A returned smile

What it looks like: Baby smiles immediately after seeing you smile.

In a time when sleepless nights are doing a number on your long-term memory, this is one first that few parents forget. While smiling is considered a milestone, the “returned smile” can be considered an inchstone toward reciprocal response. “I vividly remember my babies smiling in response to me, because I was desperate for them to start interacting with me,” says Delaney R., a mom of twins in Norfolk, Virginia. “When it happened for the first time with my first baby, I was so relieved, because I felt like I was finally getting feedback from him!”

All that grinning isn’t just your long-overdue reward for weeks of round-the-clock newborn care—it’s also a sign of baby’s emerging imitation skills. “Copying facial expressions like smiling or sticking out the tongue is on the path toward being able to engage in communication, social bonding and developing emotional understanding,” says Laura Todd, LPCC, a certified perinatal mental health therapist and infant and early childhood mental health specialist in private practice in San Francisco.

Inchstone: The “I know you” fixation

What it looks like: Baby shifts their gaze to lock onto your face when you enter the room, even if others are around.

“The first time my daughter looked at me and I felt like she recognized me as her mom (or at least her milk source), I swear my heart almost burst,” remembers Carly C., a Buffalo mom of three. Not only does this magical moment mean that baby is able to differentiate between their primary caregiver and everybody else—the foundation of secure attachment—but it’s also a tiny step toward an important skill called social referencing. “Social referencing is the ability to interpret other’s intentions and expectations, adjusting your behaviors based on reactions and learning to ‘read the room,’ which is critical for both social and language development,” says Johnston.

Inchstone: The lip-sync

What it looks like: Baby moves their mouth as though talking when someone is speaking to them.

By copying your facial movements, baby is already bonding with you over a good heart-to-heart chat, even before uttering their first coo. “When my baby first started moving his mouth while I was talking, I realized he was understanding where the sounds were coming from! So I started to exaggerate my speech and my mouth while speaking,” says Caroline S. “There’s such joy in watching babies learn—noticing their little brains assess things adults don’t even pay attention to.”

Inchstone: Joyful anticipation

What it looks like: Baby begins to shake their limbs and giggle upon recognizing the routine.

It might be as mundane as lifting their legs up during a diaper change or as cute as the squeals of laughter when you build suspense before blowing another raspberry on their tummy. “For me, the best part of the first year is seeing their little personality start to develop—discovering what makes them laugh and then watching them wait with excitement for you to do it again,” says Carly C. Whatever that is, it means baby can now see the sequence of events in a routine and guess what’s coming next based on their experiences. “When baby is able to react in anticipation of an activity, they’re beginning to develop the early social skills of joint attention, prediction and working memory. These are all important skills to practice toward being able to focus, pay attention, learn and problem solve,” says Todd.

6 to 12 months inchstones: Communication and awareness

Inchstone: Sharing attention

What it looks like: Baby looks at an object, then immediately looks back at your face to see your reaction.

“Once, my mom turned on the blender and my baby, who was in my dad’s lap, looked at the blender and then looked at me for reassurance,” says Delaney. “I smiled at him and he immediately calmed down, whereas I think he otherwise would have reacted to the loud noise. It’s relieving knowing I can reassure him and influence his understanding of the world.” That head-turn to check with Mama is called a proto-declarative gesture (a pre-gesture action), explains Johnston, and it’s an inchstone on the way to the milestone skills of social referencing and pointing. “The infant can read facial expressions and is looking to see if their parent’s expression is mirroring their own feelings about the object,” adds Fadiyla Dopwell, MD, a developmental-behavioral pediatrician at Pediatrix Medical Group in Dallas. “They’re also looking to see if their parent is seeing what they see and initiating a shared experience.”

Inchstone: The comfort-seeking cue

What it looks like: Baby cries or fusses but immediately calms down just by being picked up by a trusted caregiver.

“This one hits home,” says Connecticut mom MaryKate I., recalling this moment of connection with all three of her babies. “It feels so reassuring to know that they’re okay in my arms and to know I offer them such safety and comfort.” When baby is soothed by your loving care, that’s a sign of secure attachment and the beginning of co-regulation, says Todd. “It’s part of a process toward being able to self-regulate later on; babies can’t develop that skill without the support of a trusted caregiver.” As it turns out, the support goes both ways: “The satisfied look on the snuggling, soothed baby’s face triggers a chemical reaction in a mom’s brain that releases oxytocin, the cuddle chemical, and helps Mom feel confident in her parenting,” says Johnston.

Inchstone: The focused “no”

What it looks like: Baby shakes their head or pushes a specific food or toy away to intentionally reject it.

“Shaking the head to avoid food or other things is a reflex that develops into a symbolic gesture,” says Johnston. It’s the beginning of baby using nonverbal communication to negotiate or request what they want (which apparently is not the chia pudding you lovingly made from scratch this morning). “The first time my son pushed away food, I was impressed!” says Caroline S. “It happened far earlier than I expected, and it made me happy to see that he truly was becoming his own little person.”

Inchstone: The affectionate gesture

What it looks like: Baby intentionally puts their head on your shoulder or offers a gentle hug.

“I remember one of the first times my daughter put her head on my shoulder when I picked her up to cuddle; she wasn’t a particularly cuddly baby, and it was so magical,” says Susan D., a mom of two in Epping, New Hampshire. “My second baby started patting us on the back when she hugged, and it was just so cute, like she was offering comfort back. For all of these moments, it was a very visceral response that I felt, like I swear I could literally feel the flood of happy chemicals in my brain and a flush in my chest when they happened.” That’s by design, of course: All part of baby’s master plan to keep you loving on each other for the long-term.

“Cuddling and nuzzling are instinctual behaviors that are shaped into symbolic interpersonal gestures like holding hands, patting, hugging and eventual waving,” says Johnston. “These are ‘connection seeking’ behaviors associated with a secure attachment and co-regulation.”

Inchstone: Initiating a game of peek-a-boo

What it looks like: Baby covers their eyes to play a game of peek-a-boo.

“For a while there, my son would cover his ears while we played peek-a-boo,” recalls Caroline S. “We’d just chuckle and correct him by putting his hands over his eyes instead of his ears. The first time he actually covered his eyes, I felt so proud and reassured that he’ll figure everything out as he moves through life.” He was already off to a great start: Games are another way of using nonverbal communication—one that shows baby is engaging socially with you. “Face-to-face play like peek-a-boo or making silly faces means baby notices the people in their environment and their emotions… This is the basis for empathy and relationships,” says Johnston.

How to Spot and Celebrate Baby’s Inchstones

Ironically, some parents report that they notice more inchstones when they relax their stress about meeting milestones and just enjoy watching their baby’s personality unfold. “When parents focus on weaknesses or what their child cannot do yet, both parent and child can be easily deterred,” says Dopwell. Recognizing all the little inchstones happening in the background in between milestones helps you focus on baby’s strengths and progress instead. “It allows parents to feel like they’re being proactive in supporting and encouraging baby’s development,” says Todd. “Babies benefit from this because they’re receiving those social cues of positive engagement and encouragement to keep trying and develop that supportive and loving bond.”

If you’re having trouble recognizing or remembering all the little wins, a dedicated journal can help. Another low-stress method is taking a photo or video of baby’s new feat and swiping up to save a caption (that’s searchable if you ever want to refer back to when an inchstone first happened).

To Sum It Up

Baby’s first year is made up of countless magical moments—the little looks, sounds and gestures that hint at emerging skills and deeper connection. These inchstones are the early building blocks that support the larger milestones to come. Noticing and celebrating them lets you enjoy baby’s journey, instead of focusing on what’s coming next.

Please note: The Bump and the materials and information it contains are not intended to, and do not constitute, medical or other health advice or diagnosis and should not be used as such. You should always consult with a qualified physician or health professional about your specific circumstances.