Comedian’s Hilarious Video Nails Every Dad’s Disney World Frustrations

John Crist gets all too real about the happiest place on earth.
ByLaurie Ulster
Contributing Writer
Published
Aug 2018
crowd watching fireworks at disney world's magic kingdom
Photo: Courtesy Disney World

We all have our Disney World dreams, don’t we? We want to take the kids to visit all the parks, ride the best rides and meet their favorite characters, and watch them have the time of their lives. But as stand-up comedian John Crist proves in his gone-viral video, the reality of a Disney vacation doesn’t always match the fantasy.

Even though he doesn’t actually have kids, in just two minutes Crist manages to capture the struggles of every parent who makes their way through the parks. (For those who aren’t aware of just how huge Disneyworld is, it’s the size of San Francisco and employs over 75,000 people.)

Crist hits all the big pain points.

First, he tackles the fact that if you really want to experience everything on your wish list, none of it can be spontaneous. “We made it to the happiest place on earth. It’s 9 a.m. I gotta schedule every minute of our day until 9 p.m. Pay attention and stay close,” he quips.

He aims his wit at the souvenirs. “Forty-five dollars for bedazzled mouse ears…baby, you want these, or you want to go to college?” he asks his imaginary child.

Crist also gets a dig in at the infamous wait times for popular rides. “A four-hour wait for Toy Story? That line is to infinity and beyond.”

And let’s not forget the relentless Orlando heat and humidity. “You know what I want to ride? A park bench in the shade,” he says.

There’s also the danger of what happens when you meet your fantasy characters—and we’re not just talking about the kids. “Oh great, now my wife wants a photo with Gason. PERFECT,” Crist moans.

He nailed it. No wonder the video has almost 1,300,000 views!

Of course, going to Disney World can be a magical experience for you and your family—it just takes a lot of planning, plotting and wrangling. Our advice: Make sure you have dinner reservations well in advance, and pick a place that serves cocktails.

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