BookmarkBookmarkTickBookmarkAddCheckBoxFilledCheckBoxCircleBumpCheckedFilledMedical

If Your Kid Loves to Talk About Private Parts, This Twitter Thread Is for You

If your toddler has said something equally as cringe-worthy, we want to hear it.
save article
profile picture of Anisa Arsenault
By Anisa Arsenault, Associate Editor
Published May 18, 2018
Hero Image
Image: iStock

The true test of parenting isn’t labor. It isn’t your first diaper change. It’s not even sending your kids off to college. It’s talking to them about private parts. Sure, you want your toddler to learn accurate anatomical words and understand how their body works. But you’d also prefer they didn’t shout about penises in the grocery store.

Writer and mom Nicole Cliffe voiced her particular struggle with toddlers and private parts on Twitter. And it seems like all parents on Twitter had a story of their own to add.

“Some people have woke toddlers, I have a toddler who informs women at the grocery store that sometimes his penis get big because there’s blood in it,” Cliffe tweeted. “LISTEN, lady trying to innocently purchase apricots, IN OUR HOUSE WE LEARN ACCURATE REPRODUCTIVE SCIENCE.”

We’ve rounded up some of the best responses from other parents who’ve been there. And if your toddler has said something equally as cringe-worthy, we want to hear it.

1. “When I was pregnant with my 2nd and had boobs the size of melons and nipples like saucers my toddler son told me “I like your big, big nipples!” And I was like oh, Oedipus, no.” — @leezabobeeza

2. “Mine is telling anyone who will listen that her ‘baby sister’ is in my belly (false) and she will come out my ‘pachina.’ She also tells random men at the grocery store they have penises. I tried.” — @cynical_parent

3. “When my son was 2, the babysitter’s kids taught him to say vagina. It took us a while to figure it out because he was yelling ‘Big China!’ I don’t think they actually told him what it meant.” — @_olliemorgan

4. “From the mall bathroom: ‘MOM, I NEED HELP CLEANING MY VULVA.’ Yay for accuracy” — @livelab

5. “After learning what it meant for her dog to be in heat, my niece spent about a week asking random women at Little League if they were ‘heating today.’” — @JordanMetcalf13

6. “My toddler once informed a large breasted woman on the bus that her breasts must be FULL of mommy milk!!” — @thisgroovymama

7. “When my boys were toddlers one of them discovered his penis could be played with. He then looked at his twin, who has CP, and then up at me ‘Mommy, Alex can’t play with his penis but that’s ok, I’ll help him.’ Sweet of him to offer though.” — @mariaathena07

8. “My son was about 4 when he walked in on me getting out of the shower. He asked where my penis was, so I explained women don’t have a penis, etc. He looked at me and said, ‘Oh,’ WITH PITY IN HIS EYES.” — @holdyourbutts

We should all take a cue from the superhero mom found a way to solve the entire problem:

9. “I always told mine that is was perfectly normal to talk about that kind of thing, but a lot of silly grownups think it’s naughty. Can you believe it? So we don’t talk about ‘privates’ in public. They LOVED feeling smarter than silly grownups.” — @anotherjennd

save article
Article removed.
Name added. View Your List
ADVERTISEMENT

Next on Your Reading List

tired mother kissing newborn baby
The 8 Key Moments You Need to Survive in Your First Year of Parenthood
By Kathryn Smith
mom looking at baby napping
Viral Video Jokes About the All-to-Real Naptime Freedom Paralysis
By Wyndi Kappes
funny tiktok video of dad gentle parenting
One Dad's "Gentle Parenting With Malicious Intent" TikTok Goes Viral
By Wyndi Kappes
ADVERTISEMENT
costumed creepy easter bunny
15 Hilarious Photo Fails of Kids Meeting the Easter Bunny
By Ashlee Neuman
close up of lit candles on a birthday cake
Mom Hilariously Opens Up About Celebrating Son’s Birthday on the Wrong Day
By Nehal Aggarwal
This Reddit Thread Is Celebrating Moms and All Their #MomFail Moments
This Reddit Thread Is Celebrating Moms and All Their #MomFail Moments
By Nehal Aggarwal
Annoying Things Almost All Parents Say
Annoying Things Almost All Parents Say
By Elena Donovan Mauer
ADVERTISEMENT
20 slides
20 Funny Baby Onesies for Future Jokesters
20 Funny Baby Onesies for Future Jokesters
By Emily Platt
you're mom illustrated humorous book cover
Liz Climo’s New Picture Book for Adults Is the Content Parents Need
By Nehal Aggarwal
amy schumer with her bay son and husband walking in the park
The Hilarious Reason Amy Schumer Changed Her Son's Name
By Nehal Aggarwal
ADVERTISEMENT
celebrity chrissy teigen
Chrissy Teigen Just Wants a Few Minutes Alone and Every Mom Can Relate
By Nehal Aggarwal
amy schumer walks in rainy city street
Amy Schumer Shares Hilarious Parenting Hack on Her YouTube Channel
By Nehal Aggarwal
babies dressed up for valentines day in a chocolate heart box
Babies Dressed as Valentine’s Day Chocolates Are Too Cute to Handle
By Nehal Aggarwal
ADVERTISEMENT
parents nap on couch at newborn shoot
Exhausted Parents Adorably Fall Asleep During Baby’s Photoshoot
By Nehal Aggarwal
Happy baby wearing a onesie thats "born awesome."
25 Reasons Babies Rock
By Lissa Poirot and Sarah Yang
elf on the shelf fails
The Funniest Elf on the Shelf Fails of the Season
By Christin Perry
chrissy teigen holding her toddler daughter
Chrissy Teigen Says No One Takes Photos of Her and Moms Can Relate
By Nehal Aggarwal
ADVERTISEMENT
toddler holds envelope addressed to santa
18 Kids Who Wrote the Cutest Letters to Santa
By Holly Pevzner
baby monitor with red filter
Scary Baby Monitor Image Is Going Viral and the Comments Are Hilarious
By Nehal Aggarwal
little girl sitting on steps with pumpkins
Moms Are Carving Pumpkins to Replicate “Mom Life”—and It’s Hilarious
By Nehal Aggarwal
ADVERTISEMENT
Article removed.