Should You Keep Quiet If You See Baby’s First Steps Before Mom & Dad?

Baby’s first steps are the milestone moment every parent dreams of—but what happens if you’re not the one there to see it? That’s the dilemma sparking debate on Reddit’s popular Am I the A*/hole (AITA) forum, where users weigh in on everyday moral gray areas.

In a now-viral post, a longtime family friend shared that while babysitting his best friend’s toddler, he accidentally helped her take her first steps. “I know that they’ve been trying to get her to take her first steps. I read about a trick where if you make them hold something, they’ll walk without holding onto a surface,” he explained. “So I gave her a toy and filmed it, and it worked!”

Excited, he sent the video to the parents, thinking they’d be thrilled. His friend and the dad didn’t seem to mind, but the mom was heartbroken—feeling she’d missed out on a once-in-a-lifetime moment. “She thinks I robbed her of a key memory,” the OP wrote. “I had no malicious intent, but I get what she’s saying.”

“I didn’t think the trick would work, but it did,” the poster explained, adding that they had “no malicious intent.” Still, the question lingered: Were they in the wrong?

Quickly, parents and friends rushed to weigh in on the topic. Many of Reddit’s top-voted comments seemed to overwhelmingly side with mom. “Note to everyone: if someone else’s kid has a ‘first’ something in your care, they didn’t,” one user wrote with over 20,000 upvotes. “You take that information to your grave.” Others agreed, calling it an “unwritten rule” among caregivers and daycare workers to quietly celebrate the moment and let parents have their own version of that joy later.

But not everyone saw it that way. Some parents chimed in to say they wouldn’t be upset at all. “I’m a dad, and frankly I don’t see the issue,” one user wrote. “It makes sense to work on developmental steps when you’re watching a kid…I get that it’s polite to keep firsts to yourself, but also I understand my kid is developing and I won’t see the first of everything.

Several other parents echoed the sentiment. “My son was a late walker, so we were slightly concerned about if he needed PT. His daycare videotaped his first steps and sent it to us,” one mom shared. “It was still so cool to see him walk when I saw it for the first time.”

Another added, “Mom of four here and I get that it sucks to miss milestones—but it happens. A lot of us are out here working to support our kids, and the reality is, you’re not going to witness every single “first.” Between work, date nights, caring for other kids, and just keeping up with life, it’s impossible.” One parent summed it up with some comforting words for parents: “When you observe the milestone yourself for the first time, that’s YOUR first.”

Looking to catch your baby on the move? Check out these tips for encouraging baby to start walking.