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Dad Initially Denied IVF by Insurance Pens Children’s Book

After insurance refused to cover IVF, one dad fought back to welcome twins with his partner. Now, he’s written You Come From Love to answer all of their lingering questions.
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By Wyndi Kappes, Associate Editor
Updated April 18, 2023

Each year thousands of people turn to in vitro fertilization (IVF) for help starting their family—but it often comes a big price tag.

A cycle of IVF today can cost anywhere from $15,000-20,000, pricing many people out of access unless their insurance is willing to cover at least some of the procedure. Unfortunately, narrow restrictions around who qualifies for coverage often rule out a majority of applicants and disproportionately hurt LGBTQ+ couples. One such couple—Adam Motz and Tee Lam—recently went head-to-head with their insurance company after being denied.

In an interview with People Motz explained that his insurance company’s denial to cover IVF was “probably the biggest challenge” when trying to grow their family, and something they weren’t expecting to deal with. But Motz and Lam fought back against Blue Cross Blue Shield’s decision, ultimately settling with them for what they asked for in the beginning—“which was just to cover the medical expenses that they should have covered and that they covered for any other couple," Motz said.

Fortunately, nine months later, Motz and Lam welcomed their two beautiful twin daughters, Reve and Sky, via surrogate. But as they closed the chapter on their IVF battle, Motz couldn’t help but wonder about all the questions his daughters might have about where they came from and the IVF process as they grew older. So in an effort to have an answer to their future questions and to help other families who have used IVF and surrogacy, Motz penned his first children’s book You Come From Love.

The book tackles the typical medical science behind IVF, but Motz says that he “wanted them to understand first and foremost, that they come from love. And that love means so many different things, which I talk about in the book. It’s god, it’s the universe, it’s your family, your ancestors—each of these things come together to make you who you are."

Motz hopes that You Come From Love and his family’s story will not only help answer questions in households across the country, but it will also increase awareness of the challenges LGBTQ+ and other modern parents face when seeking out fertility treatments.

“It’s going to hopefully push insurance companies to just treat people the right way. I have friends who are going through IVF right now and they’ve had their own issues with insurance companies, gay and straight. Then we’ve definitely heard from a lot of families who’ve gone through similar issues," Motz said.

“There’s just as much value in our family as there is in any other family. We’re really grateful for the opportunity, to the extent that we can, to educate people and show people something that might be different than what they’ve always considered as the norm, to hopefully shift people’s worldviews in a more positive, open and affirming direction.”

You Come From Love is available now in major bookstores across America and you can find it online at BookShop.org.

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