The Valley’s Nia Sanchez on Feeding Stress, Mom Guilt and 4 Under 4

“I’m giving my all, but sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough.” It’s the kind of statement that stops any mom in her tracks—raw, vulnerable and painfully familiar. And it comes from someone you might least expect: former Miss USA Nia Sanchez. From the outside, the mom of four kids under 4 years old looks impossibly put together. Her Instagram is filled with smiling family photos, clever kids’ activities and swoon-worthy dresses. But the truth is, no amount of polish or preparation makes motherhood easy. Feeding struggles, sleep deprivation, the mental load, the guilt—it finds everyone. Sanchez’s solution? Talking about it openly.

After welcoming her fourth—and last—baby this fall, The Valley star sat down with The Bump to share the reality behind the highlight reel. With her kids playing in the background and her breast pump nearby, Sanchez opened up about how feeding became one of her toughest emotional hurdles, why pumping saved her sanity and how she navigates supply dips, pumping logistics and the pressure to “keep up.” She also digs into postpartum support, the unique guilt that comes with twins and the unexpectedly redemptive beauty of this final-baby chapter. Dive into the full, honest conversation below.

The Bump: Feeding can get complicated so quickly—latching, pumping, storing, supply issues. When you think back on your feeding journey, what were some of your hardest moments?

Nia Sanchez: I’ve had so many ups and downs. There are times I wonder, “Am I producing enough?” I’ve never been an oversupplier. I usually make just enough. I have the dream of being someone who makes lots of extra milk so I can store it away, but that’s not always the case for me.

Even with a better pump (my Motif Luna gives me more than my first pump), I still don’t produce a lot of extra. And then there’s the pressure of avoiding things like mastitis. I did a four-day work trip when the twins were about 8 months old and I was still breastfeeding and pumping. If I didn’t slip away every two or three hours to pump, I’d get backed up fast. The whole trip felt like a roller coaster, like ‘I need to get away so I can do this and pump and then store.’ But I ended up taking a gallon of milk home after that four-day work trip. It was wild!

TB: When things don’t go so well—you drop a bottle of milk, or you aren’t producing as much as you want—how do you give yourself grace?

NS: Multiple things help. One thing is I join a lot of Facebook mom groups. I’m in pumping-exclusively groups, breastfeeding-exclusively groups and all the combinations. I feel like those groups are so supportive, and it’s a place where other women vent about feeling defeated, not getting enough, or whatever it is. Seeing other women’s words of encouragement encourages me.

Secondly, something my husband and I talk about all the time in this season of life is grace. We’re tired, sleep-deprived and grouchy, but we try to give each other grace. And I remind myself to do the same. If my first pump of the day is 1.5 ounces instead of 3, maybe I was exhausted or dehydrated. I can adjust.

But it’s hard as a woman. I haven’t gotten my cycle back yet, but with my son and my daughters, when my cycle returns postpartum, my milk supply always dips. It’s just so emotionally hard because you’re like, ‘No, no, no, I’m still feeding this baby, and now I feel like the baby isn’t getting as much as they want, I’m not pumping as much as I want,’ and it’s beyond your control. Stress and anxiety are all factors that can affect supply too. So I take a deep breath and focus on what I can control, knowing all I can do is drink water, have some protein and use a great pump.

TB: Sometimes the “just relax” advice, whether during feeding or when going through infertility, can be so frustrating.

NS: That was the hardest thing for me as someone who went through years of infertility. With four kids now, you would never know, but I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility, and people kept saying, ‘Don’t stress, stress doesn’t help,’ and I’m like, ‘But I want it!’ It’s so hard…I see you, you aren’t alone.

Image: Meredith Gradishar

TB: I know you’ve talked a lot about struggling with pumping and trying to find the right pump for you. What’s been the biggest difference with your new pump?

NS: The Motif Luna just works. I feel like just the machine itself is designed in a way that it gets more milk in less time for 5 out of 6 women, and that was true for me. Plus, the convenience is huge. My first pump had to be plugged into a wall, and I felt tethered. It just takes the stress off my shoulders, knowing I can pump anywhere. Even in The Valley Season 1, you see me walking around during girls’ night in Malibu with everything. I’m mobile, I’m free, I can enjoy myself, and I can pump. It doesn’t have to stop my life.

TB: What’s your number-one piece of feeding advice for new moms?

NS: I have a friend, Kristen Doute, who’s been on The Valley with me. We’re both four under 4 moms, and our babies were born just over a week apart. So we’ve been sharing a lot of advice, and I think the biggest thing that we talk about right now is just giving yourself grace.

Everyone’s body is different. Do what you can, as much as you can, when you can. If that means pumping and giving bottles when possible and mixing in formula, great. It’s easy to become overwhelmed and stressed out…lean into support. We don’t always have built-in villages anymore, but if your partner, a friend or a family member can help you, let them.

TB: Any practical tips that helped your supply?

NS: Hydration is huge, including electrolytes. I put electrolyte powder into my drink first thing in the morning, then drink water all day. Protein, healthy fats and oats help me too. And I love a little sweet treat, like the Starbucks Pink Drink. The coconut milk in it boosts my supply. I joke that since pumping saves us money on formula, the drink is practically free.

With each baby, I started pumping early, about three or four days postpartum. I’d pump for 7 to 10 minutes, two or three times a day, along with breastfeeding. That helped keep my supply slightly above what my baby needed, so I could store milk for work, date nights or just a rough week. When Asher was maybe 5 or 6 months old, I got terrible news. I laid in bed crying for a day and a half. We had milk stored, so my husband took care of the baby and gave me space to process.

TB: How else does your husband, Daniel, support you in feeding and pumping?

NS: Postpartum with Asher and the twins, he was a pro at always making sure I had snacks and liquids by my side. Now with four under 4, it’s harder to focus on me all the time, but he still tries. A couple months ago I had to remind him—“Don’t forget my water!”—because he was juggling the older kids.

He also cleans the pump and bottle parts 90 percent of the time without me asking, which is incredible, given how much we all juggle. It takes a weight off my shoulders to know that he will go ahead and knock out cleaning those pieces for me.

A little piece of marriage advice that we try to come back to is to “out-serve” each other. We aren’t perfect at it, but it helps us show up for each other.

TB: There’s a lot of talk about transitions. One to two kids, two to three. You went from one to three automatically after welcoming twins. And then three to four. What was that like, and are you hoping to continue expanding your family?

NS: Well, Daniel is getting a vasectomy next week, so no more. But I think we would both be open to one more if we lived in a different reality. I think ‘How can we provide the best for our children?’ and I feel like this is a perfect number for our family. But as far as the transition goes, one to three [with the addition of the twins] was really hard. But we knew we needed support, so we leaned into it and had family fly in for weeks to rotate and help us survive. I will say four for me feels redemptive.

Twins are really hard. There are just so many things that you’re like, ‘Oh, I wish I had more time individually with each baby,’ and you don’t. You have to split your energy and time. I’d make eye contact with one baby, then the other one’s looking at you, so you break eye contact to look at this baby, but then you’re like, ‘I just broke eye contact with the baby!’ It’s just this weird thing where you’re like, “I’m giving my all, but it doesn’t feel like enough.”

But that’s what feels very redemptive, because I have these beautiful moments where I get to fully be connected with my one little baby instead of feeling like I’m not enough for two.

TB: You’re definitely doing enough and are more than enough for all your babies.

NS: I try my very best. You give it your all and just hope it works out. But I like to think they feel it. I did my very best for the twins, but I do feel like it’s a bit of a redemptive season with this last little one because I get to really soak up every moment. I know that it’s my last one, so I’m just focused on being super present, which is nice.

TB: What’s been your favorite “redemptive” moment so far?

NS: My homegirl Adelaide goes everywhere with me. I was able to leave the other little ones at home with a babysitter for a day or two for work, if I need to, but I can’t with this one because I’m still trying to get her to take a bottle. I just got back from a work trip to Mexico, and I was there with her the whole time. We even went out on a boat, and she came with me. She’s my little sidekick. It’s nice to have that quality time anywhere, anytime.

TB: You seem like a super mom coming up with extra fun activities and things to do with four under 4. Where do you find the time to do these ‘extra mile’ kind of things?

NS: Honestly, I find the time after all the kids go to bed, and I stay up way too late. I don’t get enough sleep. I’m tired all the time, my eyes are bloodshot, baby didn’t sleep last night, I’m doing eye drops like it ain’t nobody’s business, but that time from 7:30 p.m. till midnight is when I do all the things.

TB: How did life as Miss USA prepare you for motherhood?

NS: I describe motherhood as a roller coaster because there are so many highs and lows. The temper tantrums, the exhaustion, the postpartum depression after twins are just some of the lows, but then there are so many highs like hearing your babies laugh for the first time, seeing them crawl, seeing them walk and just seeing the world through their eyes for the first time.

And that’s also how I describe Miss USA. It was a huge rollercoaster. I experienced depression for the first time at Miss USA, but also incredible highs, like lobbying for ovarian cancer research on Capitol Hill. It taught me emotional regulation and how to center myself when everything is chaotic. I definitely think that has helped me transition into motherhood. Because, as all moms know, it is chaos. Whether you have one, four or 10, it’s chaos all the time. I’m not perfect, but being able to take deep breaths and center myself has really helped me.

TB: Moms deal with so much criticism, especially online. As someone in the public eye, how do you handle it?

NS: When it comes to social media, block, block, block. Your social media bubble is yours. People say, “You signed up for this,” and I say, “Nope, block.” Protect your peace at all costs, because it flows into your headspace and shapes the kind of day you have. I also try to start my mornings right with a devotional, meditation or a peaceful walk before the kids wake up. Knowing who I am before anyone else chimes in helps. The rest is noise.