Cuteness Aggression—Science (and Real Parents) Explain the Urge to Eat Baby’s Face Up

If you’ve ever been so overwhelmed by your itty-bitty baby’s adorableness that you wanted to bite their cheeks, you’ve experienced the phenomenon known as cuteness aggression. It may take you by surprise the first time you greedily nibble on baby’s chin, but cuteness aggression is a normal human reaction to witnessing unbearably cute things. What’s more, it serves an important biological purpose. So why do we get cuteness aggression in the first place? And should you refrain from sinking your teeth into your child’s flesh? (Spoiler alert: That’s not an actual question). Grab yourself a squeezable stuffed animal and read on for eye-opening insights from experts and real parents.

What Is Cuteness Aggression?

Cuteness aggression is the confusing urge to squeeze, pinch or bite your baby—or maybe a puppy!—when overwhelmed by their adorableness. Another word for this phenomenon is dimorphous expression, a concept first introduced in a 2015 study. Similar to how we sometimes have “happy tears” when overjoyed, researchers found we can have aggressive urges when we witness out-of-control cuteness. “People report wanting to ‘bite cheeks’ or ‘squeeze until it hurts’, not because they want to harm baby, but because their brain is trying to process an overload of love, tenderness and sensory delight,” explains Kanchi Wijesekera, PhD, a licensed clinical child psychologist and founder of the Milika Center for Therapy and Resilience, says.

Why Do We Get Cuteness Aggression?

So exactly what causes cuteness aggression? According to Jenna Wheeler, MD, a pediatric physician at Orlando Health Arnold Palmer Hospital for Children, “We experience the desire to physically interact through biting, pinching or squeezing things we perceive as adorable as part of our brain’s way of handling intense positive emotions.” Further, in a 2018 study, scientists found that cuteness aggression serves to regulate our emotions to allow caretaking to occur. The thinking here is that when we’re emotionally even-keeled, we’re better able to care for our babies. Basically, cuteness aggression can almost be thought of as a built-in fire sprinkler, cooling us down when adorable baby toes threaten to emotionally overheat us.

Things That Cuteness Aggression Makes Us Want to Do

Cuteness aggression can give us a number of surprising and confusing urges. We might find ourselves suddenly wanting to eat our baby’s face after seeing them smile (despite not actually wanting to cause them harm). Wheeler says, “People feel the sudden urge to pinch their fingers, bite their toes, squeeze their cheeks. Some people find themselves gritting their teeth when handling babies because of it.” As long as no one gets hurt, though, cuteness aggression is normal and harmless.

How to Redirect Your Cuteness Aggression

Cuteness aggression is the human brain’s well-intentioned (but weird) way of regulating our unadulterated feelings and unconditional love toward our babies. However, even though the urges are normal, it’s obviously important to refrain from actually eating baby’s toes. Wijesekera says, “The best way to redirect cuteness aggression is to be aware of it. Name it. Hug a pillow. Say, ‘You’re so cute it hurts,’ and then walk it off. Use the surge of emotion to express love in a healthy, safe way.”

As with anything, be sure to seek medical care if you feel you are a harm to either yourself, your baby or another individual, being especially mindful of postpartum mental health.

Real Parents on Cuteness Aggression

Surprised to hear that overwhelming feeling has an actual name? Here, real moms share their experiences with cuteness aggression.

• “I didn’t know ‘cute aggression’ was a thing until I became a mom and suddenly wanted to nibble my daughter’s cheeks every time she smiled in her sleep. I used to bury my face in her neck and whisper, ‘I could just eat you up!’ like it was a lullaby. Those tiny baby stretches, the scrunchy-nose faces, the way she’d snuggle her blanket over her face … it all made me melt.” - Amber V Ajani., mom of one in Houston, Texas
• “I love ‘eating’ my baby’s cheeks. Her little cute face is like doughnuts to me. And she doesn’t seem to mind—she always chuckles and smiles when I do so!” - Alexia M., mom of two in Tampa, Florida
• “When my husband and I were first dating, he was always embarrassed that I would happily sway side to side if I liked my food, especially if we were out in public. Fast forward to after we had our first baby, and at 6 months old, she started doing the same thing. The minute I saw it, I wanted to literally eat her because I found it so endearing and she was so stinkin’ cute. Now my husband loves it and leaves us both to do our little happy dance without any complaining.” - Rose S. mom of two in Port Orchard, Washington
• “I’ve experienced ‘cuteness aggression’ with all three of my babies, and it’s something I find both natural and overwhelming. When I’m faced with their presence and cuteness, I feel this urge to squeeze, pinch or even nibble on them.” - Brittney F., mom of three in San Diego, California

Raw emotion is powerful. Next time you find yourself saying that you want to squeeze baby into a million pieces, have a good little chuckle knowing that your cuteness aggression is an expression of your love.

Please note: The Bump and the materials and information it contains are not intended to, and do not constitute, medical or other health advice or diagnosis and should not be used as such. You should always consult with a qualified physician or health professional about your specific circumstances.