Between the breastfeeding, the sleepless nights, and the belly bulge after you give birth to your baby, it’s completely normal to not feel like your former sexy self. You do have to be realistic about romance postbaby, but that absolutely doesn’t mean you should give up on it. Here are a few suggestions that will help get you and your love life back on track.
1. Bring sexy back
Make sure you schedule some time for yourself. Indulge in a mani/pedi, get waxed, put on some makeup — anything that helps boost your sexual confidence. Or try this little piece of advice: Instead of defaulting to a pair of sweats, wear something silky to bed to get in the mood.
2. Take five
Yes, multitasking comes with motherhood, but you have to know when to take a break. Sometimes the most romantic gift a new dad can give his partner is to take care of the baby so she can go take a shower or have a nap.
3. Make a date
Remember to have fun together. Cuddle up on the couch and play your favorite movie, or plan a future getaway you both can look forward to.
How do you expect to think about romance when your mind is consumed with everything but? If you want sex to happen, you really have to consider scheduling it. And that means you need to be willing to let go of some of the other things you were hoping to cram into the day.
5. Redefine romance
Rather than attempting to re-create what used to work when there were only two of you, it’s time to redefine romance. With a new baby, sometimes a better, more attainable goal is to find sweet and intimate ways to share your love as a family, even if that means hanging out in your bed with your new little one.
The Bump Experts: Dorian Solot, coauthor of I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide; Pepper Schwartz, PhD, coauthor of The Great Sex Weekend