More Top Pregnancy Fears From Real Mamas

Some of our favorite mommy bloggers open up about their biggest pregnancy paranoias and share advice for other mamas going through it now.
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March 2, 2017
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Image: E.D. Austin Photography

Getting rid of the baby weight

“One of my fears (well, more like a constant nagging) was that I was gaining too much weight! I gained a total of 40lbs, much more than the the recommended 25. And unlike my other pregnant friends who were indulging their every pregnancy craving, I felt like I had to watch what I ate almost more than before being pregnant!  I was slightly underweight before becoming pregnant, and when I surveyed my other mommy friends I found that I actually gained the LEAST out of all of them - one actually gained 75 lbs and lost it all by 1 year post partum!  So I think too much is made of the 25 lbs recommendation. It isn’t right for every woman and I sort of wish I hadn’t stressed so much about it and indulged myself a bit more often.” — Ariana of Becoming Mom

Losing the heartbeat

“It’s horrible, but I was SO scared that I would go in and there wouldn’t be a heartbeat. My first doctor was horrible and even told me at one point that I was having a Molar pregnancy and I could either miscarry naturally or they could do it. She told me this OVER THE PHONE while I was at work. She hadn’t even done another ultrasound to be sure, she was basing this off of my hormone levels and how tiny the baby was on the first ultrasound (about six weeks along). Come to find out she was completely wrong and I was a total wreck for hours until my mom demanded that she give me an ultrasound that day (she wanted to wait until the next day). There was a heartbeat and the baby was perfect normal. Needless to say, I got a new doctor (but was worried for the rest of the pregnancy).” — Dee of Two of a Kind, Working on a Full House

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“I spotted a lot in the first trimester (almost every day weeks 5-9 and off and on until 11 weeks). It was terrifying and made it almost impossible to relax and enjoy the pregnancy. It didn’t matter how many people told me that spotting is “common” or that they spotted and ended up with a healthy baby. Every time I noticed it, my heart raced and my stomach dropped. I guess it might have made me a bit paranoid about other things that I could control while pregnant — like what I was eating or exposing myself to — but that paranoia was completely based on my reality of having to live with the anxiety the spotting caused for weeks on end.” — Jill of Baby Rabies


“I had the flu shot at 20+ weeks and I made myself sick over whether or not the baby was fine  due to  mercury being in the shot (even though they told me it was mercury-free). My advice to other moms: If everything looks fine at your appointments, then don’t panic and worry yourself over every little thing. As long as you’re taking care of yourself, your baby will be okay. Enjoy your pregnancy, because it really does go fast and it’s such a wonderful moment in time (I often wish I could relive it just to feel my babies move inside of me).” — Tina Seitzinger of Life Without Pink

Losing one of my multiples

“My situation was different than most. Being pregnant with identical triplets had the potential for so many problems. My biggest fear was losing one or more of the babies. Preterm labor was a close second. But my fears were very much based in reality. Many triplet pregnancies end up with only one or two (or no) live babies. Preterm labor is also a very common issue with high order multiples. Luckily, I was fortunate to have a very good outcome with my pregnancy. I probably should have spent time worrying about how we were going to afford a minivan or daycare for three kids, but I figured those things would work themselves out. And they did! Whew.” — Pam Kocke of Pyjammy’s Blog

Baby’s safety

“I just wanted to know my baby was healthy and safe. It seems like the minute you get pregnant, every pregnancy/childbirth horror story comes across your radar in one form or another. I had to train myself to block it out. I had to make myself stop reading the minute I realized it was a story about something unfortunate that happened to a baby in utero — and to tell people to stop in the middle of the story of their friend’s wife who almost hemorraged to death during childbirth. It was the adult equivalent of sticking my fingers in my ears and going “LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU.” When you’re pregnant, you have to walk a fine line between blissful ignorance and being over-informed. While bad things can happen, the vast majority of women have healthy, uneventful pregnancies. Just because it happened to someone else, doesn’t mean it will happen to you. Stay positive and have confidence in yourself and your body. You can do this mama!” — Melissa Embrey Jordan of Dear Baby

Genetic disorders

“During my second pregnancy with my youngest daughter I was somewhat concerned about our nuchal screen test results. I was 35 when I was pregnant with her but my test results came back showing I tested as if I were 40 in terms of the likelihood she might have Down Syndrome. She was fine and is a very healthy little girl now, but there was always that “what if” fear. My best advice to other moms: For the love of God, step away from Dr. Google. Do not become obsessed with the “what ifs.” They will only drive you insane. Focus on the positive and the wonder and beauty of becoming a mother. Enjoy your pregnancy — from every weird new twitches and body leakage to every breathtaking kick. It all goes by so quickly, even though at the time it may seem like an eternity before you will ever be able to paint your own toenails again.” — Jamie of Blonde Mom Blog


“When I first found out I was pregnant, my biggest fear was miscarriage. My husband and I struggled to get pregnant, and after a diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and a few rounds of ovulation-inducing medicine, I was afraid that if something happened to THIS baby, we may never be able to get pregnant again. As time went on and my OB kept telling me I looked perfectly healthy, I let that fear slip away. By 12 weeks, when the risk of miscarriage dropped significantly, I let go of it entirely and allowed myself to fully believe I was going to have a baby in a few months! To other mamas I would say it’s okay to worry (because there are a lot of scary things about growing a healthy baby). But at some point, you need to allow yourself to FULLY enjoy and savor this special time. Don’t wish away your pregnancy waiting for the next milestone… be in the moment.” — Kate of This Place is Now a Home

“After several previous miscarriages, I was afraid it would happen again even when everything looked great. To other mamas, I’d say enjoy pregnancy as much as possible and try to tame the crazy.” — Kelly (Fitz) of My Mom Genes

“I worried about being a really bad mom. I am not perfect but I take it seriously, am always challenged, try my hardest, and laugh a lot. But I don’t really understand why I was worried about that. The best advice I got was that the worrying (whether rational or irrational) prepares you for motherhood, because once you are a mom you will always worry. For me this was perfectly true; I worry about everything with my son — from minor things like if he’s getting enough greens each day to larger, life-changing things like adding a sibling into the mix. So while some worries will be irrational and you can laugh at them, many are just par for the motherhood course.” — Allison of No Time For Flashcards

Not being able to give baby everything

“I remember I got this catalog of expensive baby clothes — really gorgeous but totally ridiculous stuff — and I realized I couldn’t buy any of it. I felt like it was a sign of how totally unprepared I was to be a parent. As if not being able to buy adorable footie jammies that my kid would grow out of in a millisecond was what summed up the kind of mom I would be! Looking back, I believe those worries — the realistic and the less realistic — are all about growing into parenthood. It’s some of the very first parenting we do, really. Pregnancy is so far out of our control, and not knowing what’s going to happen can turn that worrying up a notch or two (or twenty). I fixated on the clothes in the catalog because I couldn’t do anything else besides gestate and I hated not having more control. That’s why I totally got it when my friend called in tears because she couldn’t afford the highest-rated stroller. My advice to her was to remember that our grandmothers didn’t have any of this stuff and neither did most of our parents. And of course she wants the best for her baby — because she’s already learning how to be a good mom. It’s just important to keep some perspective on it all and understand that good parenting is not about the trappings!” — Dawn of Dawn Friedman’s Work

Something going wrong with baby

“I was constantly irrationally afraid that something would go with the baby and I wouldn’t know it. Looking back, I think I would skip a lot of the testing I had done by default in the first and second trimesters. There was no real reason for me to get so many freaking tests, and I think all the waiting for results on things that were never actual concerns gave me a complex that bad news was lurking around every corner which stuck with me throughout the Pregnancy. Actually now that I think about it, even after the tests came back clean I still worried that they were false negatives anyway, so mentally I definitely would have been better off with no testing at all.” — M of

“During all the testing/ultrasounds I was always fearful that something would come back negative and my daughter would not be healthy. Reality: As a first-time mom it’s a very scary thought that your body is capable of creating a perfectly healthy child. I think that is why we stress so much about eating the right things, taking our vitamins, etc. I would never forgive myself if there was something I did that harmed my unborn baby. I underestimated my abilities as a woman. I am now 8 months pregnant with my second child and feel so much more confident going into this last month. I actually look forward to the birth experience.” — Shari of Spearmint Baby

That I’ll be a bad mom

“I worried about being a really bad mom. I am not perfect but I take it seriously, am always challenged, try my hardest, and laugh a lot. But I don’t really understand why I was worried about that. The best advice I got was that the worrying (whether rational or irrational) prepares you for motherhood, because once you are a mom you will always worry. For me this was perfectly true; I worry about everything with my son — from minor things like if he’s getting enough greens each day to larger, life-changing things like adding a sibling into the mix. So while some worries will be irrational and you can laugh at them, many are just par for the motherhood course.” — Allison of No Time For Flashcards

Gaining too much pregnancy weight

“I was very worried about gaining too much weight; I knew many women that gained 50, 60, even 70 lbs during their pregnancies and I was worried about Gestational Diabetes. I fortunately only gained 32 lbs though, so all that worry was for nothing. My advice to other moms is to acknowledge you have some fears and talk them through with your doctor. But beyond that, just let them go! Enjoy your pregnancy to the fullest extent possible and don’t mar the experience with too much fear. If you’re feeling extra-paranoid even after talking it through with your doctor, go do something nice for yourself like a manicure/pedicure, or a certified prenatal massage. Take your mind off your worries and be good to yourself!” — Issa of Single Mama NYC

Will I have a life after baby?

“One thing I did worry about was whether I could still have a life after having a baby. I’m happy to report the answer is, YES. As a mom who ended up going through an NICU nightmare after having a baby I’d say, try your hardest not to worry during your pregnancy about what “could” go wrong. There was no way of my ever predicting what happened to us, and I’m glad I was able to enjoy a fear-free pregnancy. I have such fond memories of that period. Preparing for a baby is a really special time; try to enjoy it, as best you can. Talk to friends or your doctor if something’s bugging you, and try not to over-research it online and freak yourself out even more.” — Ellen of Love That Max

The unknown

“I think that fear of the unknown was what was most scary to me. I had never been pregnant before, and to find out I was expecting twins (while I knew it was a possibility) was quite a shock. I didn’t know how my body would handle the pregnancy. Would I be put on bed rest? Are both babies growing at a healthy rate? Am I gaining enough weight? So many questions ran through my head each and every day! Some may call it paranoia, but for me, it was very real. The truth is our hormones sometimes get the best of us and there’s nothing we can do about our pregnancy-paranoia. But know that you aren’t alone and there are so many resources you can tap into if you have a question. Most importantly: don’t Google your symptoms! Call your OB if you are really concerned. The nurses at my OB’s office helped me quite a few times.” — Jennifer of Blonde Ambition

The sleep deprivation

“My #1 fear was that I wouldn’t be able to handle the sleep deprivation after our baby was born. My sister has three children and I couldn’t remember a time when she didn’t answer her door in pjs with a foggy look! And, yes, the sleep deprivation is real, but it only lasts so long. If you can know and remember that the sleep loss is only for a finite time, then it makes it more manageable. Pregnancy fears are real and they’re okay- we all go through it. Make sure that you ask your partner to help “talk you down from that tree” when the time comes, and to do so with respect and kindness!” — Karen of A Child Grows in Brooklyn

Braxton Hicks contractions

“I worried about every contraction, which was quite a chore being that I was having them for the last 2 months of my pregnancy! I timed them constantly and always wondered if “this was it?!” But now that I’ve had a baby, I know what REAL contractions are like and I know that I didn’t need to worry at all… when it’s time, you’ll know it! For other moms out there, remember: It’s too easy to read horror stories on the internet and worry about the safety of your baby, but chances are everything is going to be fine and pregnancy is a magical and wonderful time! Don’t spend it stressing, try to enjoy all of it! You’ll miss it when it’s over.” — Emily Dickey of Baby Dickey

The future

“My fears are for the future… going back to work, putting the baby in daycare, having to deal with things like his first car accident and his first broken heart. I guess they are all worthy of being scared of, but not right now! We’ll have plenty of time to prepare for things like my son’s first car accident and broken heart in the years to come.” — Kate of This Place is Now a Home


“I had very few concerns throughout most of my pregnancy. I sincerely felt that carrying a baby was what my body was meant to do, and I trusted that I could. Then, during the last few days of my pregnancy, I went crazy! I worried about postpartum hemorrhage, about stillbirth, about there being something wrong with the baby. I worried about breastfeeding, about not knowing how to care for an infant, about never having alone time again. I worried about losing my identity. If I could worry about it, I DID! My number one fear, the only fear that stayed with me until my daughter was placed on my chest after delivery, was that she would be born dead. To other moms I would say relax! Your body is made to do this, to carry a new life, to labor and deliver. It may not always be comfortable, but pregnancy, labor, and delivery are all natural processes. I believe that every woman should trust their instincts – if you think that something may be wrong, it might be worth a trip to your midwife or doctor to ensure your health, the health of your baby, and to set your mind at ease. But I also believe that most fears during pregnancy are probably blown out of proportion.” — Sarah of Becoming Sarah

Please note: The Bump and the materials and information it contains are not intended to, and do not constitute, medical or other health advice or diagnosis and should not be used as such. You should always consult with a qualified physician or health professional about your specific circumstances.

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