Mom’s TikTok Shares the 9 Magic Minutes That Make a Big Impact on Kids

Take one second to blink, and all of a sudden, baby is a toddler and then that toddler is heading off to school. In today’s world, things seem to move at hyperspeed and between a rapidly growing little one and everything else that life throws at you, from work to keeping up relationships, cleaning the house and maintaining a semblance of your own life, it can be easy to fall into the trap of feeling like there’s never enough time to spend with your child. But while, unfortunately, we can’t give parents more hours in their day, one mom has a solution for busy parents that’s helped her find some solace from the nagging mom guilt.

In a now-viral TikTok, first-time mom Sara Martinez shares her “9-Minute Magic” method. “I just read a theory that said, ‘There are 9 minutes that have the greatest impact on a child’s day,’ and I can’t stop thinking about it,” Martinez begins, referencing neuroscientist Dr. Jaak Panksepp’s 9-minute theory. She then explains how these minutes break down: 3 minutes when they wake up, 3 minutes after they come home from daycare or preschool, and 3 minutes before bed.

The key to these 9 magic minutes lies in being fully present during transition times. “When you reconnect after moments of being away from each other, it’s important to make them feel extra special and to be present,” Martinez elaborates in the comments. Throughout her video, she shares how she makes these moments count with her daughter—whether it’s playing with a stuffed animal in the morning, reading after daycare, or spending a few quiet minutes before bed.

“I always struggle with mom guilt and questioning if I was present enough. If this is true or not, I do find setting aside specific time to be present with my toddler (no phones out, etc) has made a positive impact,” she captioned the video.

In the comments, other parents expressed their relief. “Oh my gosh I love this, such a comforting theory for a working mom,” wrote one mom. “As a full time working mama, I NEEDED this. I carry so much guilt not being there for my babies around the clock,” added another. “Yes! I live by this! I’m not perfect but I can try to be in THOSE 9 minutes,” chimed in one mom.

However, some parents voiced concerns that the 9 minutes aren’t always feasible or felt regret for missing these moments. “Me missing 6 of these because I’m out of the house before she’s up and stuff,” lamented one parent. “I need to work on those last 3 minutes because by them I’m exhausted, but I can do it for her,” added another.

While focusing on these 9 magic minutes can make a difference, it’s just one way to connect with your child. Whether you’re there for all 9 or creating your own special moments, remember—you’re doing a great job!