Alicia Keys Gets Real on How Motherhood Has Changed Her

Becoming a mom isn’t easy. Try as you might, some aspects of motherhood are hard to prepare for, and they can eventually shape you into a different version of yourself—and that’s okay. It’s a change that affects every mom, even celebrity ones. Just ask Alicia Keys, as she recently opened up about how motherhood has changed her.

The singer-songwriter believes that becoming a mom has changed the way she thinks and acts. “Motherhood, I find, makes you look at yourself in a way that is a mirror like no other that you’ve been presented with before. I think it makes you look at what you have taken or learned from other people and how that becomes your truth, whether it’s yours or not,” she told PEOPLE at this year’s Women in Music Impact Brunch, during which she was an honoree for Billboard’s Women in Music Impact Award. “I’m often thinking about that and often thinking about how to unravel that. Especially when it’s not my truth, but something that I’ve realized is that [when it comes to] learned behavior, I don’t want to give those things or pass those forward. Some of those things need to be let go. I think [motherhood] is equally as challenging as it is rewarding and I think that’s part of the reward. You have to really look at yourself.”

Keys and her husband, music producer Kasseem Dean (known in the music industry as Swizz Beatz), have two sons together. The couple also co-parent a son from Dean’s prior marriage. On a day-to-day basis, Keys told PEOPLE, it’s the little things she appreciates most. “The most rewarding part is everything,” she said. “Seeing them be safe, seeing them be strong-minded. Seeing them have their own thoughts and opinions.”

Of course, it hasn’t been easy to shield her kids from the judgment of the larger public as they form those thoughts and opinions. A few weeks ago Keys expressed her frustration surrounding gender stereotypes among kids after taking a trip to the nail salon with her 4-year-old son, Genesis, during which he was too afraid to get a manicure. “You chose it, you liked it, you do it. Who cares what anybody else thinks,” Keys told him.

Being a millennial parent isn’t easy and they often don’t get the credit they deserve. If you or someone you know is a new mom and currently experience change, read one mom’s tips for what new moms should know.