You Know You're Nine Months Pregnant If...
Ah, your last month of pregnancy. The nursery is decorated, baby clothes are washed and folded, meals are in the freezer, your hospital bag is fully packed, and diapers are all stacked and stored for baby’s arrival…right? Yeah, we’re just kidding! Countless months of bizarre cravings, hormone-induced meltdowns, and sleeping in weird positions have brought you to these final few weeks, which often feel the longest. Our own Bumpies definitely feel that way and are sharing the tell-tale (and hilarious) signs they’ve reached the final countdown.
“You wear flip flops even though it’s winter because the mere thought of bending over to put on shoes and socks makes you want to take a nap."
“Your 6’5” 200-pound husband’s t-shirts now fit you so well, you’ve found a whole new maternity wardrobe.”
“You sob in the parking lot of a restaurant because they don’t serve the buffet that day and you just need the buffet.”
“You’re so exhausted that you walk into the mall bathroom, do your business, and when you come out there’s a man peeing in the urinal…because you accidentally went into the men’s room.”
“You’ve started sleeping, sitting and driving on puppy pee pads or towels so you don’t ruin your mattress or seats if your water happens to break.”
“Your gas is clearing everyone out of the room, including your husband—and your dogs.”
“Having a daily conversation with every woman you know about every single one of your bodily functions is now just another normal part of your day.”
“You love freaking people out when they ask when you’re due by responding, ‘Any minute!’”
“You just can’t wait to log into The Bump app and finally click the ‘I’ve given birth’ button!”