12 Ways to Cope With the Late-Pregnancy Waiting Game
The late-pregnancy waiting game is a time of uncertainty, eagerness, and—if you know, you know—unending check-in texts from every person you’ve ever met. My daughter arrived 13 days past her due date, so I know a thing or two about this unique (stressful) time in an expectant mom’s life. On one fateful day during my “pregnancy overtime”, I yelled at a man who walked in front of me at the grocery store and then decided I was no longer fit to be in public. (Sir, if you’re reading this, I’m so sorry). Suffice it to say things can get weird in the home-stretch days and weeks of pregnancy.
If you’re bouncing on a yoga ball as if it’s your full-time job or rage texting your aunt that you have not, in fact, had the baby yet, you’re not alone. Minutes can feel like hours, hours can feel like days and it’s a waiting game unlike any other. But leaning into some solid coping strategies during this time can help. Below, tips from experts and real moms, who’ve stared at the clock waiting for baby’s arrival.
As your pregnancy nears its end, people will start coming out of the woodwork to check your status. Your preschool teacher, your dentist, your mom’s college roommate—they’ll all be eager for updates. Though they mean well, it can get overwhelming—and this is a great time for boundaries. “Create a template or set an automatic reply or group message letting people know you’ll share when there are new updates,” suggests Evon Inyang, LAMFT, a licensed associate marriage and family therapist based in Minneapolis. “It’s okay to protect your peace and mental wellbeing at this time.” If you have a partner, you could even enlist them to handle these check-ins.
Healthy distraction is your friend when you’re in late-pregnancy limbo. Enjoyable brain breaks can help break up the never-ending days. Sean O’Neill, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Winnetka, Canada, suggests replacing obsessively checking due date countdowns with more productive activities like reading, crafting or watching favorite shows. “Such activities help relieve nervous energy while creating moments of joy and relaxation during what is otherwise a stressful period,” he adds. Julianka B., mom of two in Washington, DC, can speak to this, as she planned fun distractions during her second pregnancy, and they became a family staple: “When I was pregnant with my second, my husband and I took our then-2-year-old museum- and playground-hopping. We loved it so much that we still do it at least twice a month.”
Carve out some time each day to indulge in self-care, however that looks for you. This could be your morning cup of tea or coffee, a light stretching routine or a walk outside—anything that “helps anchor the day and brings a sense of control amidst the unknown,” says Kara Kushnir, LCSW, PMH-C, a psychotherapist based in Allendale, New Jersey. For Jennifer B., mom of four in Charlottesville, Virginia, this approach really helped. She created a restful routine during her first pregnancy that she named “the luxury hour.” It involved brewing her favorite cup of tea and grabbing a snack, curling up with a book and her favorite blanket or going for a walk. “With subsequent pregnancies, the luxury hour looked a little different—often simpler—but the spirit remained the same: no chores, no to-do list, just being,” she says.
Working on low-stress projects can help you focus your energy on things you can control during this time of uncertainty. This includes setting up baby stations with feeding supplies and self-care items in any areas of the house you might need them postpartum, says Kristin Revere, CED, a certified birth, postpartum and infant care doula in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Small nesting projects can provide a productive distraction and help you feel more prepared for life after baby. However, Marianna P.F., mom of two in La Paz, Bolivia, warns moms-to-be to not go overboard when you’re late in the game: “Knock off those things that have been stuck on your to-do list, but don’t, don’t, don’t get yourself into a new big project that will take weeks or months to complete.”
If you’re able, move your body regularly to help with the stress of being in late-pregnancy countdown mode. “Movement helps regulate your mood, ease physical discomfort and connect you with your body. Walking outdoors can also be a form of active meditation, offering a little peace and perspective each day,” says Kushnir. (Bonus: It could help encourage labor!)
The leadup to baby can be rife with worry and anticipation. If you have a partner, they’ll likely feel similarly stressed, and it’s helpful to get on the same team. Though this doesn’t necessarily sound like the ideal time for carefree dates or romance, touching base about your feelings can help you feel bonded. “Set a check-in routine with your partner,” suggests Inyang. Intentional connection can help couples avoid emotional distance during this emotionally charged period.
Using tried-and-true relaxation techniques can help you feel grounded and regulated while you anxiously await baby’s arrival. Deep breathing exercises and mindful meditation are a great place to start, says O’Neill. All feelings are valid and welcome during this time, and processing them without judgment can help reduce overwhelm. Revere suggests focusing your meditations on your upcoming birth as a way to ground yourself. “I suggest clients visualize their labor or practice things they learned in their childbirth class like breathing and relaxation exercises,” she says.
The end of pregnancy can bring a tsunami of emotions (and hormones). Sharing your feelings with someone you love and trust can help you feel supported and lower your stress levels. “It’s normal to feel irritable, restless or even scared. Share those feelings with a partner, a trusted friend, or a therapist—naming them out loud can take away some of their power,” says Kushnir.
Late pregnancy is a great time to set up a postpartum support plan. This might include planning for a period of recovery, coordinating visits from loved ones or arranging care for older children. Scheduling appointments with postpartum specialists like postpartum doulas or perinatal therapists can help you feel more prepared for life post-baby. Inyang also suggests planning simple post-baby self-care activities ahead of time. “It helps anchor hope and gives you something to look forward to post-baby,” she says.
Preparing meals to freeze ahead can give your worried mind a task to focus on—and of course, pre-cooked meals are a godsend after baby comes. “After my first pregnancy, I knew I’d be ravenous and too tired to cook, so this felt like a nice gift to my future self (toddler and husband too!). It also felt like a meditative ritual in those final weeks,” says Julianka B., mom of two in Washington, DC.
Set limits around the amount of time you’re spending online (and the type of content you’re consuming). Too much research can exacerbate anxiety instead of easing it—so be sure to set limits for yourself, and stay in online spaces that feel positive. “Unfollow or mute accounts that trigger stress or comparison, and lean into online spaces that feel calming, humorous or empowering. Protecting your emotional landscape is essential right now,” says Kushnir. Curating your online experience is a good practice for life after baby too.
We can’t solve for uncertainty, and the more we try, the more anxious we feel. Instead, lean into your experience. You’re a person who can do hard things—you can handle this wait and whatever comes after it. “This stretch of time is a true exercise in surrender,” Kushnir says. “Try to gently shift from ‘figuring it out’ to ‘feeling it through’. Trust that your body and your baby know what to do—even if your brain is impatient. Believe in yourself!”
Waiting for baby can be an emotional rollercoaster—but remember, you’re not alone in the struggle! “Knowing you’re not the only one Googling ‘signs of labor’ at 2 a.m. can be oddly comforting,” reminds Kushnir. You’re among legions of parents who’ve coped with this before, and you can do it too. Just keep bouncing—soon, this waiting game will be a thing of the past!
Please note: The Bump and the materials and information it contains are not intended to, and do not constitute, medical or other health advice or diagnosis and should not be used as such. You should always consult with a qualified physician or health professional about your specific circumstances.
Plus, more from The Bump:
Evon Inyang, LAMFT, is a licensed associate marriage and family therapist based in Minneapolis. She earned her master’s degree in counseling psychology from the University of St. Thomas.
Kara Kushnir, MSW, LCSW, PMH-C, is a psychotherapist based in Allendale, New Jersey, and the founder of A Work of Heart Counseling & Wellness. She earned her master’s of social work degree from Rutgers University.
Sean O’Neill, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Winnetka, Canada with over 15 years of experience, as well as the clinical director at Maple Moon Recovery. He earned his master’s degree in marriage and family therapy from the California School of Professional Psychology.
Kristin Revere, CED, is a certified birth, postpartum and infant care doula in Grand Rapids, Michigan, as well as the founder of Gold Coast Doulas. She earned her certification in 2014 and also hosts the Ask the Doulas podcast.
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