As tempting as it is to torture yourself by thinking you may have missed this month’s chance to get pregnant, it won’t do anyone any good. “There can often be a feeling of desperation,” says Shoshana Bennett, PhD, a clinical psychologist. “It can help to adopt the attitude of it’s not ‘now or never.’ You may want this pregnancy very much, but if you don’t get pregnant this time, it’s not the end. Keep reminding yourself that there will be other chances.”
Accept That What’s Done Is Done
Yeah, we’re all for thinking positively, but you won’t be able to “will” yourself to get pregnant at this point. “Many women get really superstitious, like ‘If I do this, I will be pregnant,’” says Bennett. But remember: You already did what you’re supposed to do to conceive — good luck charms won’t change what’s already happened. “It’s a done deal now,” says Bennett. “Either you’re pregnant this time or you aren’t.”
We know you can’t stop thinking about it. Every. Single. Second. But don’t let conception be the main topic of every conversation during these few weeks. It can only fuel your anxiety. “Not talking about it won’t get it out of your mind, but it may keep from perpetuating any obsession. It’s not realistic to not talk about it at all, but don’t make it the focus of all your discussions,” says Bennett.
After you get busy, stay busy. The best way to keep your mind from running wild with possibilities is to occupy it with other stuff. And hey, you might as well make that stuff fun. Get a manicure and pedicure. Go shopping. Have a girls’ night out with your friends. “Treat yourself to something nice,” says Bennett. “You’ve done all you can, and now it’s time to sit back, relax and let Mother Nature take over.”
Get Support From Your Partner
You’re trying to make a baby, so you know it takes two — there’s that whole sperm-and-egg thing. Well, same goes for the emotional ride. “Keep reminding yourself that you and your partner are in this together,” says Bennett. You’re both invested in this, even if you show it in different ways.
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