Worst Baby Names of 2012
*Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence
* Yup, that mouthful is one, very tiny person’s name. Uma Thurman and multimillionaire beau Arpad Busson bestowed that whopper on their baby girl, who was born in July. “Each name has a special reason and meaning to her mother and father,” a rep for the couple has been quoted as saying. So which of the five names do the proud parents call their little bundle of joy? None of them. She goes by Luna.
* Hurricane Sandy caused destruction along the East Coast and reportedly over 100 deaths in the US alone in October — there’s no way anyone would name their child after such a horrific event, right? Wrong! We know of at least one Brooklyn, New York, couple who dubbed their baby girl Sandra because she was born during the storm. And we’re sure she’s not the only one — some experts say that, historically, hurricane names have been known to rise in popularity in the years following the events, mainly because people are hearing the name more often.
* We love Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr., but we’ve got to wonder what they were thinking when they named their baby boy Rocky. Seems more like a nickname suitable for a boxer — and it’s the name of a few dogs we know.
* There are some good things about Jessica Simpson’s baby girl’s name. It’s meaningful — Maxwell is dad Eric Johnson’s middle name (and a family name). And it’s got a cute, boy’s-name-as-a-girl’s-name vibe. But Jess has been quoted as saying she calls the baby “Maxi,” and we can’t hear that without thinking about maxi pads.
*Barack Obama and Mitt Romney
* In November, a mother in Kenya named her twin boys Barack Obama and Mitt Romney as a way to help her “remember the historic US elections for a long time, both the winner and the loser.” Historic baby names can be a great idea, but don’t you want your twins to have names that imply they’re on the same team — and that they’re _both _winners?
* _Hawaii Five-0 _actor Alex O’Loughlin recently named his son Lion, which sounds more like a Halloween costume than a baby name. Plus, Lion O’Loughlin is a total tongue twister.
* As soon as Beyonce and Jay-Z announced their baby girl’s name, the Internet exploded with theories on where the name Blue Ivy came from. No one really knows for sure — except the power couple, of course! — and it seems like no one really gets it either (isn’t ivy usually green?). The pair also caused controversy when they tried to trademark the name, so no businesses (including an established Boston event planner) would be able to use it. Their petition was denied.
* _Crazy, Stupid, Love _actress Beth Littleford named her baby girl Halcyon, which is her middle name and her grandmother’s name. We’re all for little-known names, but we feel kind of awkward pronouncing this one. The baby’s nickname, “Hallie”? That, we like.
* Naming your baby Kash might make you sound a little, um, money grubbing. But there are some cool Cashes: Think Cash Warren (Jessica Alba’s man) and Johnny Cash. Still, the decision Kim Zolciak, of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, made to name her son Kash came under fire this year — she was accused of stealing the baby name from fellow housewife Kandi Burruss.
* This is probably the craziest of all the baby names we heard this year. Seriously, one very adorable baby girl was dubbed Hashtag Jameson in November, which totally tops last year’s shocking social-media-inspired names: Facebook and Like.
Plus, more from The Bump:
*updated November 27, 2012